2019 Recap and Achievements

Recap for 2019

2019 has easily been one of the worst years I have ever endured. It has been full of pain, sadness and loss. I don’t want to portray this perfect life that isn’t true. Of course, every human has their ups and downs but that’s all part of the course that’s life.

Losing my best friend

In April I sadly lost my best friend to suicide. It was all so sudden and I was completely shocked. I was never fully able to come to terms with the fact he had felt so low he did what he did. Not a day goes by when I don’t miss him, his smile, his energy, everything. It taught me how important it was to talk about mental health instead of keeping it bottled up. If any of you are reading and feel this way too, stop and call 116 123 (UK). It’s a helpline by The Samaritans to talk about how you currently feel.

Toxic Relationships

I won’t touch too much on this one because I don’t really want to talk about it but, I ended a few toxic relationships and friendships this year too. Let’s just say even though it hurt me at the time, I came back out of them a stronger person.

Mental Health

My mental health kindly started to deteriorate around September, luckily after going back onto my medication, I feel a lot less helpless. It’s a slow process but I’ve got through it so many times I know I’ll be ok.


Due to a lot of issues in my personal life, I somewhat abandoned makeup and felt a little bit like I didn’t belong in the community. I found it really hard to be creative and express my art when people were being recognised and I wasn’t. Of course, I’m happy for those that were chosen it just sometimes feels like I am not enough. The one thing I have learnt is to stop comparing myself to others and do my own thing.


I know I have been kind of negative so far in my recap but, there are some positive changes that I made this year. I started to look after my psychical fitness more this year, I made working out a priority.


I have truly found some good friends this year, online and in my personal life. One of the people I’ve grown closest to is my friend Nicole . Even though she battles chronic illness she’s always there for me when I have been at my lowest. The second best friend I have made is Andy, this guy is truly kind and amazing. Thank you for being so amazing!

2019 may have been predominately awful but its been full of lessons. The pain I’ve gone through has taught me so much about myself, others and what to do in the future. Tomorrow I’ll be posting my 2020 goals so stay tuned!

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas mine was somewhat ok, I had to work all of Christmas so I only managed to spend a little bit of time with family. I am looking forward to all the content I have planned for 2010. Take care –  Beth x




MISSING: Find Poppy Jukes

A 4 year old terrier vanished on the from a small village in Nottingham called Keyworth on the 15th of December 2019. At first it was believed she went missing but as time has gone on we are to think that she has been stolen.

There is a reward for anybody who finds her. She is mostly black with a white snout and grey wisps all over, white toes a white-tipped tail. IF you know anything, anything at all please call Jo-Anne Jukes (poppy’s owner) on 07949086779. If you think you have sighted this dog, please inform someone about the location. Also if you happen to find her, take her to somewhere safe and inform someone ASAP.

People are advised to shout her around the village she disappeared from to see if she has gone and hidden anywhere, check outhouses, sheds and other small hiding spots. Poppy has a phone number and address on her green collar which has a silver metal bone ID disc. Please just help BRING HOME POPPY! I have spoken to her owner and of course her and the family are distraught, do what you can, share or donate to the just giving page, every little thing you do counts.

If you see anything and can’t get in touch with the owner for any instance then please report it to any of these numbers that surround the Nottinghamshire area.

Telephone numbers and links:

Link to crowdfunding –BRINGHOMEPOPPY




I know this post is a little different to my usual. I just really want this little angel to be reunited with her family. I couldn’t imagine the pain the family are currently going through. All you have to do is share and retweet, it is done in seconds and is free! Posts will be back to normal before new year. Take care guys – Beth x




How to Care for Your Mental Health This Christmas

Christmas time is full of emotion, excitement and joy especially. But for some of us, it can be a time where the season is full of depression and anxiety. I wanted to talk to you guys about ways you can care for your mental health when it’s hard at Christmas time. So grab yourself a cuppa (decaf for me) and let’s talk.

Talk to someone

Talk to friends or family. Anyone who will listen, talk to them. They don’t always have to be a mental health professional, sometimes it can just help to get your feelings out there. If you’re UK based (which most of my readers are) feel free to call The Samaritans on 116 123, they are a charity that talks to anyone who is in need of some support. You don’t have to be suicidal for this either. If you would rather be face to face with someone, The Samaritans do have drop-in branches which I will link in case you want to pop in instead.

Pamper yourself

Treat yourself to a cake you’ve been craving or that new DVD you wanted! Run a nice, hot bath and relax. Do a skincare routine, put on a face mask, do your brows. Feel good about yourself and take pleasure in caring for yourself.

Help others

Volunteer at an animal shelter or feed the homeless. Being social and interacting with others can sometimes ease your thought and make you feel good/positive about life. It’s nice to be nice.

Don’t go into debt worrying about Christmas

Money is a huge factor that increases anxiety and depression, don’t go into debt trying to please people. If you do have to buy gifts, maybe try to handcraft them as that could also serve as a distraction and hobby. This year I became anxious about what I had bought for family, so I ended up making loads of gifts through painting and other crafts I am good at.


One thing that has helped me this season is by having some organization. Putting everything in my phone calendar helped me see every meeting or social gathering I had to attend so I knew where I was.

Remember to breathe

I don’t mean just inhale and exhale, I also mean to stop and chill. Busy day shopping and wrapping presents? Go home, put a film on and relax. We can easily feel overwhelmed and making sure you take time to stop is essential to not going over the edge. One thing I also like to do when I feel a little ‘burnt out’ is either play The Sims or sit in my pyjamas all day and binge Youtube.

Numbers to call (UK)


Bi-Polar UK – Tel: 0333 323 3880 – bipolaruk.org.uk

Saneline – 0300 304 7000 – sane.org.uk

Mind – MindInfoline: 0300 123 3393 – mind.org.uk

ChildLine – Helpline: 0800 11 11 – childline.org.uk

Samaritans – Tel: 116 123 (Free) – samaritans.org

Take care this Christmas, I haven’t posted much for December as I have been taking time out for my own mental health but if you need anyone to speak to this festive season please call the numbers I included in the post. Merry Christmas – Beth x




Emetophobia & Me





Everyone has a fear, fears can stem from previous experiences or things you’ve generally have seen or heard. But, we are all afraid of something; Spiders, flying, heights, blood, needles and my phobia which is vomiting or seeing someone else vomit. My phobia started at a very young age and I want to show everybody the daily struggles that come with this specific phobia.

To ease the panic around my phobia there are things that I avoid and safety behaviours I do, some of these I don’t currently do but have done in the past;

  • Avoid meat and fish (food poisoning risk)
  • Obsessively wash hands and sanitise surroundings
  • Don’t eat in public through fear of vomiting in a restaurant, seeing someone else vomit or get food poisoning
  • Don’t go abroad through fear of getting heatstroke and air travel
  • Avoid boats
  • Take an obscene amount of antacids to relieve sickness symptoms
  • Fear getting pregnant because of morning sickness
  • I especially find it hard at the moment and have done since I was a child to stay the night at someone’s house in case I get sick!
  • Get scared to take new medication in case the side effect is sickness
  • Starve myself so I know I can’t be sick as there is nothing to ‘come up’
  • If someone says they’re not feeling well I avoid them at all costs
  • No alcohol 

It must sound so delirious to some people that I have an actual phobia of a bodily function and I find it so difficult to talk about because people seem to judge me for it. When I have told people in the past they have thought it was funny to start making gagging noises or to tell me about distressing times they were sick. One of the most common things people have said to me is “Well no one likes being sick”. This statement is true but for us emetophobics, just thinking about it is paralysing.

In January of this year just days after my 21st birthday my mental health took a slight turn. My phobia of being sick was starting to make my life more miserable, every time I went out I got waves of wanting to be sick but then they intensify as the panic of doing it in public increases symptoms.

So in late February I managed to start therapy through the NHS and I must say it’s helping a lot, I’m now able to eat in public and do more anxiety aggravating activities (e.g going out for a long time alone). The type of therapy for phobias is exposure and as I just mentioned I am trying to push myself as much as possible. CBT also plays a major part in recovery as OCD is one of the main contributors to avoidance and safety behaviours. As I go through therapy, some things are too scary to face at the moments but here are some things I have achieved.

My list of small accomplishments:

  • Sat through an entire film at the cinema without ‘escaping’
  • Sat in a pub and eaten a full meal about 4 times now
  • Spent 1+ hours in a supermarket alone without ‘escaping’
  • Been to certain places alone
  • Managed to go on multiple dates even though I’ve panicked I would be sick

Please do not be ignorant to other people that suffer from this, for others, the phobia goes to a mad extreme when they can’t even see the work s**k without getting a rush of panic. It’s a long journey I have still got but I am trying to give my all. I want to bring awareness to this phobia because most people think it’s a joke.  If anyone reads this and think they may have this phobia please talk to a therapist and get the ball rolling to recovery, yes it’s scary but you have to keep pushing.


I have been very open and vulnerable in this post, hope you enjoyed and feel a bit more educated on how this affects my lifestyle and thousands of other people. Take care – Beth x





Valentines Day 2019 – What’s​ the Best Thing About Being Single?

Valentine’s day, the one day of the year where everyone seems to be a lot more loved up than normal. The past fortnight every shopping website I have visited has hearts and lovey-dovey things plastered all over it. It seems to be that it’s a day just made for those people that have someone to share it with, so what are us singletons supposed to do? Well, let’s celebrate the best things about being single. Also note that I am not trying to say that relationships are bad, in this post I’m strictly trying to embrace single life.

I don’t need to panic about my appearance 

There’s not much need for me to be precise about upkeeping a squeaky clean appearance, by that I don’t mean let myself go and be disgusting. I just mean I don’t need to have my makeup on all the time, don’t need to shave my legs and I can wear the most granny like underwear you’ve ever seen.

No unnecessary arguments

I have an issue with arguing all the time with people I care about, especially when my emotions come into play.

Jealousy, who’s she?

I feel like being single means that I don’t have to worry about being cheated on or hurt. Even though every guy I have ever liked has still caused a lot of pain/damage to my feelings. But not having a boyfriend means I don’t have to worry that there’s someone else out there that’s better for him than I am.

No food sharing

I am a major foodie that will NOT share food, it’s good that I have no one to share it with right? I just can’t bear to share food with others, pizza is too good to be shared.

Bed to myself

I love nothing more than my bed, I wriggle around a lot in my sleep too so it’s good that I’m not gonna be rolling onto someone anytime soon.

Do what you want when you want

You can do whatever makes you happy, you don’t need to rely on a partner to go everywhere with you. You don’t have to miss out on things you love doing because they might find it boring.

You only buy for yourself

You can spend £15 in Mcdonalds for yourself, you don’t have to add on the extra £10 to pay for someone else. It’s a win-win, more money for me to buy makeup.


Thank you to the bloggers who told me their best things about being single!

I’m seeing in yet another valentines day being single, somewhat enjoying it too. Hope you enjoyed this post, it’s slightly random but it came to me at 3am the other night! Also, I’m nearly at 1k over on twitter and 500 over on Instagram so if you would be so kind and click my links below, I DO follow back! Take care – Beth x

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(image is from rawpixel.com)

2018 Recap & Achievements​ – Blogmas Day 22


As this year is coming to an end, it makes us reflect on what the past year has put us through. I want to sit here and say it’s been absolute rubbish but I am naturally pessimistic!

There has been alot that has happened in the past 365 days, some things I can openly divulge but some things that are best kept private. But amongst the negatives, there have been some positives! In June of this year, The Makeup by Beth was born after I wanted to write about how bad a foundation was. 6 months down the line, this blog has become my life. Of course, people will state how their views are achievements which I guess they are to an extent but no matter if it’s 1 or 100 people that like my work, it all means something and I will never ever become ungrateful.

I have also been lucky enough to have made some friendships via the blogging and youtube community and I couldn’t be happier! It’s really nice to have like-minded people to talk to and get you through whatever it is I am going through. Below I will list some things off that are classed as an achievement to me.

I faced some BIG fears

It is a big thing for me but in June I had to have emergency dental work done. This meant having needles and I did it! I can’t believe I sat through it and stayed strong. Again, it might seem daft but to me,    it was a big achievement.

I worked harder on improving my mental health

I decided to really take control of my mental health this year, I invested a lot of time into self-care and working on coping strategies. Of course, I have still had those dark times and times where I have wanted to give up, but, it’s been a lot easier to bounce back.

I worked harder on improving my physical health

In February I worked very hard on my physical appearance, I had a membership with slimming world and lost about 2 stone. I have since fallen off the bandwagon but it showed me that I could lose weight, that the willpower and strength was there.

I was noticed by brands

I was noticed by DeathWishCo and since then they have become close friends of mine. I am not affilated and I don’t make money from them but they’re a kick-ass brand that support my work constantly! I have been noticed by some makeup brands that have been nice to comment on my pictures or give them likes, which may sound small but I really appreciate it.

I was voted for a real award!

So I received an email saying I was nominated for a UK Blog Award 2019! I was gobsmacked, me of all people! If you could be so kind and vote for me HERE.

I found myself

This will sound cheesy but after years of feeling like I didn’t belong, I feel like I finally have found where I am meant to be, learnt my worth and won’t settle for less. Blogging and Instagram have definitely given me a drive which I didn’t have before.


Please let me know what your biggest achievements of the year are! Doesn’t have to be blog related, can be anything! Take care – Beth x

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Self Care at Christmas – Blogmas Day 16

Christmas, it’s known for rushing and stress. Although I love this time of year, it makes my anxiety go into overdrive so sometimes I need to pull over and take some time away. I am going to show you how I practise self-care at Christmas, keep in mind everyone has different ways of doing it and if you have some methods, let me know below. Enjoy!


Watch Christmas Movies. I’ll usually sit and wrap presents with a Christmas film playing in the background, it’s usually The Grinch but I do love Nativity! It’s a great method to install more excitement into the festive period, rather than add stress.

candle-celebration-christmas-267067.jpgLight a nice Candle. I love to put on my candles and soak up the beautiful scents. It is very relaxing, well I find it is anyway. I have been in a major shopping spree of some winter/festive scents to get me in the mood

Hot Chocolate With Marshmallows and Cookies on Plate

Eat & Drink. We all know that food and drink are the best things about Christmas, well when I am stressed with the online shopping or out in town I love to sit and have a hot chocolate! If I am out I’ll opt for something vanilla or hazelnut. It’s almost like a tea break!

Here is the perfect example of me putting self-care into practice:

So this Friday I went out shopping with my sister, I made a BIG lost of everything that needed doing on that day, so;

  • Presents
  • Wrapping paper
  • Cards
  • Stocking Fillers
  • Health and beauty essentials for me

Let’s just say I became very overwhelmed before I had even stepped foot into the shopping centre. The night before I was anxious about getting everything done, I tried to do something else to distract but felt very unprepared so I couldn’t relax. Once we were in town I suffered multiple panic attacks, so to make everything not seem so overwhelming we took 3 stops, 1 in McDonald’s for a refresh, 1 in Debenhams Cafe for a coffee and lastly Five Guys for something to eat.


Having these little coffee breaks gave me time to rekindle myself and my thoughts, it was the perfect opportunity for me to reevaluate what I needed to do and which shops I needed to visit. I was able to start ticking things off the list and slowly eliminating my anxiety. I also made sure my body was fueled with energy, hence why I made a trip to Five Guys!

If you’re out Christmas shopping, take regular coffee breaks, make it a bit more leisurely and visit the Christmas market for a bit! After wrapping up hundreds of gifts, get in the bath, drop in your favourite bath bomb and RELAX.

I really hope some of you can take inspo from this, remember to take time out for some self-care. It isn’t selfish one bit, you just need to time to rejuvenate.

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The Sunshine Blogger Award

Hello everyone, hope you’re all doing well! I received a Twitter notification from Leil @catsandcoffeexx nominating me and 10 others for the Sunshine Blogger Award. Along with the nomination, we were all asked 11 questions so here we go!

What made you start blogging?
I studied journalism for 2 years at college, always have loved to write. I wanted to tell people about makeup and have a chit chat about other things in my life and here we are!
If you could live anywhere In the world where would It be?
Probably Manchester, Liverpool or Newcastle. I’m in love with those cities! I attempt to visit there very often.
What do you like to do to unwind?
Listen to music, eat some chocolate, play games on my phone or play around with makeup.
What’s your job?
currently, I work in the hospitality/catering industry.
what’s your favourite film?
I’m stuck between 2, it’s either Moulin Rouge or Love Rosie.
Do you have any pets?
I have two Lhasa Apsos and they’re my babies.
Night in or out?
Night in, 100%. I used to love going out partying but it’s expensive, and in my experience, there’s always one person that goes a little too hard and spoils the night.
What’s your favourite thing to blog about?
All things makeup related but I do love to open up a bit more and speak about life issues/ mental health.
Does pineapple go on pizza?
Don’t cast me out of the community but yes, I love it! If you’re having ham on there, the sweetness compliments the saltiness of the meat.
Where do you usually blog?
At home on my computer. I just put my headphones in and let the words flow.
Favourite hobby?
Gotta be blogging or doing my makeup, easy!

Here are the rules to this award nomination;

  • Thank the blogger and link their blog in your post
  • Answer the 11 questions they asked
  • Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 questions
  • List the rules and display the logo on the post

Thank you Leil for the nomination and the questions, I apologise if you’ve already done it before! So the bloggers I nominate are…











Under Mad Management

Here are my questions to you

Current favourite musician?

Current favourite Youtuber?

The best thing about blogging?

The worst thing about blogging?

Your biggest achievement of this year?

The hardest thing in blogging you’ve had to overcome?

Who inspires you the most?

What’s the one thing you’ve always wanted to do but been too scared to do it?

If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life what would it be?

Which seasons are your favourite and why? (fall, winter, etc.)

What inspires your posts?

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Let’s Talk: Relationships

This is a different type of post for me but I want to break into more content where I can start a conversation with all of you. Keep in mind that these opinions are from my own personal experience and I hope this can maybe help some of you in this current situation or for future reference. Let’s get started.

Today I’ll be talking about romantic relationships. Relationships can be beautiful or painful things that are shared, they’re like rollercoasters, full of ups and downs.

Dating in this day and age is extremely difficult, peoples views on how relationships should be have changed massively. It’s a shock to me to see that people now brag if you’re loyal to your partner, shouldn’t that just come with a relationship anyway?

We also still live in a quite vain society too, with each person having an ideology of what their perfect partner HAS to look like. However, there is more acceptance nowadays but at the same time, people still discriminate on looks. For me, there have been times where I’ve been told my hair colour was the reason I was unattractive (because I wasn’t blonde) and that I wasn’t thin enough. Which again, we all have personal preferences but it damages your self-esteem when people list the things they don’t like about you. Although being told those things hurt me, I’d rather have someone that loves me for me instead of a superficial person so it makes the rejection a lot easier to spring back from.

I have delved into Tinder in the past to actively search for someone and after a day deleted the app, it was horrendous! The number of weird messages I received just made me lose hope in humanity. That’s not me saying there’s something wrong with online dating because you can find that because you speak to them in non-person for a while they have more time to get to know the real you, instead of just the looks you have. I don’t actively search for someone anymore, I prefer to develop love with people I know or have been friends with as they already know and like me for me.

In personal preference, I won’t lie looks are a bonus but I fall in love with a personality. You could be the most beautiful person on the outside and be very ugly on the inside, the same method can be reversed and applied. That isn’t me saying all beautiful people are ugly inside either, just to shut that down now.

At 20 years old I can take my experience so far and put it into practice for the future. The key things to remember are to know your worth, admit when you mess up, be honest, love yourself and communicate. I also strongly think that if you don’t love yourself, you can’t fully love someone else as those issues can contrast and interfere with certain aspects of your relationship. I’ve also learnt that on the journey to finding your ‘perfect’ partner, you’ll meet some horrible people. I know I have before, but each experience makes you tougher and able to face more difficult things in the future. The way I dealt with nasty love interests that treat me poorly was just to walk away, it’s so tough but it get’s easier.

People will hurt you, people will use you and cause a lot of pain. It happens all the time but the one thing to remember no matter how hard it is, not everyone will hurt you. The last point I’ll leave you with is to not force or rush finding someone, you can find love in the most unimaginable and unlikely places. In the past I’ve found love in the people I’d least expect to. Be safe, best of luck and take care – Beth x

Please comment or tweet me @bethhh_okxy and let me know what you thought to this post, did you relate to what I said? Let me know.

If you haven’t yet, feel free to check me out on my social media, links below!





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