Two Year Blog Anniversary

19th of May 2018 my blog was officially launched. It was something I had debated for a very long time but in the end, although I had no experience, I jumped straight into it and here we are two years on!

I have mentioned this here and there but the reason I started blogging was because of how much I enjoyed writing and I really wanted to rant about a rubbish makeup product I’d wasted my money on. To be honest when got everything set up I hadn’t really done any research into blogging because I thought it would be a doddle… WRONG. It can be hard wrapping your head about ways to get more views, earn money or have your posts show up on Google.

Two years on and I am still learning so much about what I do as my side hobby. I almost gave up many times, there were times where I felt like my content was useless or that no one wanted to be friends with me in the community. But it’s so easy just to give up, and if I had I wouldn’t be where I am right now.

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Achievements

I have had a lot of achievements, I don’t compare them to anyone else’s like I used to because I know if I do that I’ll be majorly disheartened. My first one was managing to increase my DA (domain authority) to 13. It’s not much but it’s better than 3 when I started.

I have managed to start getting paid opportunities which is absolutely fantastic, 90% of my posts aren’t paid but it’s nice when you get paid to do something you enjoy. It took me a while to get to that point because it all came down to DA.

Sometimes I can still feel like an outcast on a bad day but I have made some fantastic friends in the community whom I couldn’t be more grateful for. I have a bunch of girls who I currently collab with too – you can find that post here for the collab we all did.

Of course, I have had some lows too. If someone paints a pretty picture and make out it’s been a smooth ride then they’re either lying or not human.

Downfalls

I would say downfall wise in my two years of blogging is the consistency of posting. It can be tiresome when you have to get lots of posts ready and scheduled to go up on your blog. My consistency has been all over the place, sometimes laziness and sometimes something comes up in life. I wouldn’t say there are many more downfalls, I just keep making sure I am always kind and supportive to others in our community to avoid a negative vibe.

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Goals for the future

I want to make sure I am increasing the traffic to my pages with the correct marketing tools. More paid opportunities would be great too, I think more will come if I blog more consistently.

I just want to keep blogging and keep enjoying what I do without any drama or negativity. One main goal is to also take more photos for my page, I see bloggers with incredible photos and then I realise mine might not look so great so they’re definitely things to improve on.

Always keep going and making the content you love, you’ll have that breakthrough at some point. If you’re thinking of starting a blog and need help, read my post here.

 

My blogging has been somewhat slow because I’ll be totally honest, I have been so unmotivated. My mental health is poor at the moment too. Just want normality back! Take care – Beth x

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2019 Recap and Achievements

Recap for 2019

2019 has easily been one of the worst years I have ever endured. It has been full of pain, sadness and loss. I don’t want to portray this perfect life that isn’t true. Of course, every human has their ups and downs but that’s all part of the course that’s life.

Losing my best friend

In April I sadly lost my best friend to suicide. It was all so sudden and I was completely shocked. I was never fully able to come to terms with the fact he had felt so low he did what he did. Not a day goes by when I don’t miss him, his smile, his energy, everything. It taught me how important it was to talk about mental health instead of keeping it bottled up. If any of you are reading and feel this way too, stop and call 116 123 (UK). It’s a helpline by The Samaritans to talk about how you currently feel.

Toxic Relationships

I won’t touch too much on this one because I don’t really want to talk about it but, I ended a few toxic relationships and friendships this year too. Let’s just say even though it hurt me at the time, I came back out of them a stronger person.

Mental Health

My mental health kindly started to deteriorate around September, luckily after going back onto my medication, I feel a lot less helpless. It’s a slow process but I’ve got through it so many times I know I’ll be ok.

Makeup

Due to a lot of issues in my personal life, I somewhat abandoned makeup and felt a little bit like I didn’t belong in the community. I found it really hard to be creative and express my art when people were being recognised and I wasn’t. Of course, I’m happy for those that were chosen it just sometimes feels like I am not enough. The one thing I have learnt is to stop comparing myself to others and do my own thing.

Health

I know I have been kind of negative so far in my recap but, there are some positive changes that I made this year. I started to look after my psychical fitness more this year, I made working out a priority.

Friends

I have truly found some good friends this year, online and in my personal life. One of the people I’ve grown closest to is my friend Nicole . Even though she battles chronic illness she’s always there for me when I have been at my lowest. The second best friend I have made is Andy, this guy is truly kind and amazing. Thank you for being so amazing!

2019 may have been predominately awful but its been full of lessons. The pain I’ve gone through has taught me so much about myself, others and what to do in the future. Tomorrow I’ll be posting my 2020 goals so stay tuned!

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas mine was somewhat ok, I had to work all of Christmas so I only managed to spend a little bit of time with family. I am looking forward to all the content I have planned for 2010. Take care –  Beth x

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How to Care for Your Mental Health This Christmas

Christmas time is full of emotion, excitement and joy especially. But for some of us, it can be a time where the season is full of depression and anxiety. I wanted to talk to you guys about ways you can care for your mental health when it’s hard at Christmas time. So grab yourself a cuppa (decaf for me) and let’s talk.

Talk to someone

Talk to friends or family. Anyone who will listen, talk to them. They don’t always have to be a mental health professional, sometimes it can just help to get your feelings out there. If you’re UK based (which most of my readers are) feel free to call The Samaritans on 116 123, they are a charity that talks to anyone who is in need of some support. You don’t have to be suicidal for this either. If you would rather be face to face with someone, The Samaritans do have drop-in branches which I will link in case you want to pop in instead.

Pamper yourself

Treat yourself to a cake you’ve been craving or that new DVD you wanted! Run a nice, hot bath and relax. Do a skincare routine, put on a face mask, do your brows. Feel good about yourself and take pleasure in caring for yourself.

Help others

Volunteer at an animal shelter or feed the homeless. Being social and interacting with others can sometimes ease your thought and make you feel good/positive about life. It’s nice to be nice.

Don’t go into debt worrying about Christmas

Money is a huge factor that increases anxiety and depression, don’t go into debt trying to please people. If you do have to buy gifts, maybe try to handcraft them as that could also serve as a distraction and hobby. This year I became anxious about what I had bought for family, so I ended up making loads of gifts through painting and other crafts I am good at.

Organize

One thing that has helped me this season is by having some organization. Putting everything in my phone calendar helped me see every meeting or social gathering I had to attend so I knew where I was.

Remember to breathe

I don’t mean just inhale and exhale, I also mean to stop and chill. Busy day shopping and wrapping presents? Go home, put a film on and relax. We can easily feel overwhelmed and making sure you take time to stop is essential to not going over the edge. One thing I also like to do when I feel a little ‘burnt out’ is either play The Sims or sit in my pyjamas all day and binge Youtube.

Numbers to call (UK)

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Bi-Polar UK – Tel: 0333 323 3880 – bipolaruk.org.uk

Saneline – 0300 304 7000 – sane.org.uk

Mind – MindInfoline: 0300 123 3393 – mind.org.uk

ChildLine – Helpline: 0800 11 11 – childline.org.uk

Samaritans – Tel: 116 123 (Free) – samaritans.org

Take care this Christmas, I haven’t posted much for December as I have been taking time out for my own mental health but if you need anyone to speak to this festive season please call the numbers I included in the post. Merry Christmas – Beth x

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Emetophobia & Me

TRIGGER WARNING

 

 

 

Everyone has a fear, fears can stem from previous experiences or things you’ve generally have seen or heard. But, we are all afraid of something; Spiders, flying, heights, blood, needles and my phobia which is vomiting or seeing someone else vomit. My phobia started at a very young age and I want to show everybody the daily struggles that come with this specific phobia.

To ease the panic around my phobia there are things that I avoid and safety behaviours I do, some of these I don’t currently do but have done in the past;

  • Avoid meat and fish (food poisoning risk)
  • Obsessively wash hands and sanitise surroundings
  • Don’t eat in public through fear of vomiting in a restaurant, seeing someone else vomit or get food poisoning
  • Don’t go abroad through fear of getting heatstroke and air travel
  • Avoid boats
  • Take an obscene amount of antacids to relieve sickness symptoms
  • Fear getting pregnant because of morning sickness
  • I especially find it hard at the moment and have done since I was a child to stay the night at someone’s house in case I get sick!
  • Get scared to take new medication in case the side effect is sickness
  • Starve myself so I know I can’t be sick as there is nothing to ‘come up’
  • If someone says they’re not feeling well I avoid them at all costs
  • No alcohol 

It must sound so delirious to some people that I have an actual phobia of a bodily function and I find it so difficult to talk about because people seem to judge me for it. When I have told people in the past they have thought it was funny to start making gagging noises or to tell me about distressing times they were sick. One of the most common things people have said to me is “Well no one likes being sick”. This statement is true but for us emetophobics, just thinking about it is paralysing.

In January of this year just days after my 21st birthday my mental health took a slight turn. My phobia of being sick was starting to make my life more miserable, every time I went out I got waves of wanting to be sick but then they intensify as the panic of doing it in public increases symptoms.

So in late February I managed to start therapy through the NHS and I must say it’s helping a lot, I’m now able to eat in public and do more anxiety aggravating activities (e.g going out for a long time alone). The type of therapy for phobias is exposure and as I just mentioned I am trying to push myself as much as possible. CBT also plays a major part in recovery as OCD is one of the main contributors to avoidance and safety behaviours. As I go through therapy, some things are too scary to face at the moments but here are some things I have achieved.

My list of small accomplishments:

  • Sat through an entire film at the cinema without ‘escaping’
  • Sat in a pub and eaten a full meal about 4 times now
  • Spent 1+ hours in a supermarket alone without ‘escaping’
  • Been to certain places alone
  • Managed to go on multiple dates even though I’ve panicked I would be sick

Please do not be ignorant to other people that suffer from this, for others, the phobia goes to a mad extreme when they can’t even see the work s**k without getting a rush of panic. It’s a long journey I have still got but I am trying to give my all. I want to bring awareness to this phobia because most people think it’s a joke.  If anyone reads this and think they may have this phobia please talk to a therapist and get the ball rolling to recovery, yes it’s scary but you have to keep pushing.

 

I have been very open and vulnerable in this post, hope you enjoyed and feel a bit more educated on how this affects my lifestyle and thousands of other people. Take care – Beth x

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Let’s Talk: Relationships

This is a different type of post for me but I want to break into more content where I can start a conversation with all of you. Keep in mind that these opinions are from my own personal experience and I hope this can maybe help some of you in this current situation or for future reference. Let’s get started.

Today I’ll be talking about romantic relationships. Relationships can be beautiful or painful things that are shared, they’re like rollercoasters, full of ups and downs.

Dating in this day and age is extremely difficult, peoples views on how relationships should be have changed massively. It’s a shock to me to see that people now brag if you’re loyal to your partner, shouldn’t that just come with a relationship anyway?

We also still live in a quite vain society too, with each person having an ideology of what their perfect partner HAS to look like. However, there is more acceptance nowadays but at the same time, people still discriminate on looks. For me, there have been times where I’ve been told my hair colour was the reason I was unattractive (because I wasn’t blonde) and that I wasn’t thin enough. Which again, we all have personal preferences but it damages your self-esteem when people list the things they don’t like about you. Although being told those things hurt me, I’d rather have someone that loves me for me instead of a superficial person so it makes the rejection a lot easier to spring back from.

I have delved into Tinder in the past to actively search for someone and after a day deleted the app, it was horrendous! The number of weird messages I received just made me lose hope in humanity. That’s not me saying there’s something wrong with online dating because you can find that because you speak to them in non-person for a while they have more time to get to know the real you, instead of just the looks you have. I don’t actively search for someone anymore, I prefer to develop love with people I know or have been friends with as they already know and like me for me.

In personal preference, I won’t lie looks are a bonus but I fall in love with a personality. You could be the most beautiful person on the outside and be very ugly on the inside, the same method can be reversed and applied. That isn’t me saying all beautiful people are ugly inside either, just to shut that down now.

At 20 years old I can take my experience so far and put it into practice for the future. The key things to remember are to know your worth, admit when you mess up, be honest, love yourself and communicate. I also strongly think that if you don’t love yourself, you can’t fully love someone else as those issues can contrast and interfere with certain aspects of your relationship. I’ve also learnt that on the journey to finding your ‘perfect’ partner, you’ll meet some horrible people. I know I have before, but each experience makes you tougher and able to face more difficult things in the future. The way I dealt with nasty love interests that treat me poorly was just to walk away, it’s so tough but it get’s easier.

People will hurt you, people will use you and cause a lot of pain. It happens all the time but the one thing to remember no matter how hard it is, not everyone will hurt you. The last point I’ll leave you with is to not force or rush finding someone, you can find love in the most unimaginable and unlikely places. In the past I’ve found love in the people I’d least expect to. Be safe, best of luck and take care – Beth x

Please comment or tweet me @bethhh_okxy and let me know what you thought to this post, did you relate to what I said? Let me know.

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