Let’s Talk – Toxic Relationships

Toxic people come in all shapes and sizes. Not everyone is an obvious toxic person as they don’t walk around with a huge sign stating it and it can be hard when they have also manipulated you into putting up with their nonsense. I wanted to talk about this as I have recently left multiple friendships/relationships that were extremely toxic and unhealthy. I want to showcase what it does to a person, how badly it affects your mental health and how life afterwards really is.

Before we head straight into the post I just want to point out I am talking from personal experience, my advice is my own opinion and everyone’s situation is different!

I have been in multiple toxic friendships/relationships over the course of my life, I’m only 22 so I have obviously put up with and been through a lot for my age. Being in one is one of the most tiring things I think I have ever endured. For some people, it might be less severe than that but in my experience, it’s been draining. Toxicity has a fine line of being just toxic and then being abusive, I, unfortunately, have suffered being in both of these situations and I am sure my readers have been also.

If I was to be kind to myself I would describe myself as a nice, caring person who wants to help anyone I can. That in itself can make you a little naive and susceptible to being taken advantage of by people who couldn’t care less about you. Wanting to please someone all the time is something I have naturally struggled with since being a child and has reflected into all of my friendships and relationships throughout life. If you’re anything like me you understand what I mean when I say you’d bend over backwards for someone even if they weren’t giving you anything in return. Even after people around me had pointed out these people were using me and were cruel I still thought I was the problem and maybe it was me that wasn’t doing enough. How wrong was I…

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As mentioned before, toxic people come in all shapes and sizes, most commonly friends and partners. Although, some parents can also be toxic towards their children also. People do usually show signs and red flags, but, we easily ignore them because we want to be accepted or loved. It is pretty common.

They use manipulative tactics to make life as hard as it can be for you. Making someone feel as small as they can is essential to them!

“This ‘friend’ slowly turned me against my true friends. I had looked up to her and admired her, and I was always seeking for her approval. She would reward make me feel happy and rewarded whenever I ignored another friend or said something terrible to them. ” – athenachristy.wordpress.com

It can be extremely stressful when you have to deal with someone who is toxic. For me it would be feeling so sick to check my phone I would turn it off for days on end, if I knew I’d be left on read I would have to delete the conversation with this person so I’d be able to go back onto the app we were talking on without feeling obsessive about checking when they were last online or if they were replying. My hair would fall out in clumps and I’d feel unwell having to deal with these people in my life. Everyone else’s reaction does vary.

“Stressed. If I wasn’t doing what she wanted me to, she’d give me the silent treatment. I was always walking on egg shells around her. But don’t get me wrong when she was nice, she was lovely! But when she was “moody” for lack of a better word, it was awful.” – chimmyville.co.uk

 

I’d always feel this horrible feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach if I knew I would have to deal with these people/person.

“I found it so difficult to sleep, was unable to eat and couldn’t face going to work (we worked together. I would be so worried every day and I couldn’t concentrate on anything else.”

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Life after being in a relationship or friendship with a toxic person is extremely hard. I still find myself finding dating and making friends hard because of past problems. I fear it’ll repeat again. You also become somewhat programmed to expect people are going to use or mistreat you and that your past experience will repeat itself all over again. For some of you, life after being around a toxic person might be able to resume back to normal fairly quickly but for others, it can take time. It is so easy to go over what happened but eventually, you’ll look back and praise yourself for getting out of it when you did! I sometimes still find it tough looking back but it’s something we will get through. Everyone’s healing is different.

“I think the hardest part of this was having no explanation as to why. I started questioning myself. Did I do something wrong? What did I do? Did she never like me at all? I went through so much doubt, frustration, and anger. After having a couple years to mull it over, I now know this was for the best. And it doesn’t matter what the reason was. Clearly, she was never as invested as me, and didn’t treat me with the same respect. Of course, that wasn’t fair to me. I’m lucky the friendship ended when it did; that finally opened my eyes.” –  Haley @ introvertedcreativity.com/
“Heartbroken, I still am.. The person in general I loved to bits so it hurts to loose someone you were so close to, but at the same time.. that constant feeling of worry and stress was lifted. I guess what I’m trying to say is.. You may love a partner/friend so much that you don’t realise how toxic that person is to you untill you let them go.” –mrssleejones.com

You’re not alone in the way someone is making you feel, talk to someone about what it is or how you’re feeling about the situation. Don’t suffer in silence! For me when things got really difficult with these friends and partners I spoke to my mum every time. Having someone that can shed some light or clarity onto things is very helpful. If you get really down and depressed, if your mental health is really deteriorating then please talk to a GP or ring a hotline. Look after number 1!

I wanted to say a quick thank you to all the ladies that helped me out with my post by sharing their experiences, their links are included in the post so go check them all out! It’s really brave and just shows we aren’t alone in all this. I hope my readers enjoyed this post and could also have learned something about dealing with toxic people. Stay safe out there! Take care – Beth x

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Dating Resolutions for 2020

In the past, I have spoken about relationships, either when I have been in one or been single. I have been on all sides of the spectrum. Currently, I remain single for multiple reasons, mainly to work on myself before jumping into anything with anyone. But, that doesn’t mean I can’t get to know people and see where it may lead.

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As a singleton, you can sometimes feel lonely or pressured to be with someone but it’s all about taking it at your own pace. I was the same and still am, preferably I like to take things slow and never rush.

I have resolutions for my dating life this year. Even though last year I had some horrible experiences in relationships and had my heart broken I was able to learn lessons about how important it is to always look after yourself in a relationship. This year after learning those things I would like to start getting back out there, back on the horse so to say. Dating can be quite hard, but I have teamed up with matchmehappy.co.uk to hopefully make the journey easier for me and you. For me personally, I prefer free dating sites or apps.

Let’s go through some of my resolutions for dating this year!

Have fun

Make sure I can have safe fun on dates, loosen up a little more and not be afraid to be more humorous in front of potential partners. It can be hard not to seem a little scared of having fun when you feel nervous, as long as it’s safe then let’s all go for it and have a laugh.

Don’t rush

Sometimes I have panicked about not knowing where I stand with someone so then the relationship has been insanely rushed to feel as though we were getting to the point of being ‘together together’. Rushing a relationship can easily head for disaster. So let’s say my lesson has been fully learnt when it comes to the speed of things.

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Still enjoy my own life

It’s quite easy in a relationship to become fixated on your partner’s life and hobbies. Now, I want to make sure I can still be engaged in a relationship with someone and at the same time focus on my own life without losing track. It’s essential to always look after your wellbeing and mental health in a relationship as much as it’s important to make sure you are carrying on with your hobbies.

Being open

Being open is key and sometimes it can be tricky. But I aim to be able to be more open in relationships by not feeling like I cannot talk to my future partner about things that may bother me about them, myself or the relationship. Finding someone you feel you can talk to openly and fully is always an indicator that they are a great match for you.

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I now know to always have an open mind, not to pressure myself or any situation when I am dating. Hopefully, some of you can relate to my resolutions.

Beth x

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(Disclosure – I was paid to write this post but all opinions are my own)

MISSING: Find Poppy Jukes

A 4 year old terrier vanished on the from a small village in Nottingham called Keyworth on the 15th of December 2019. At first it was believed she went missing but as time has gone on we are to think that she has been stolen.

There is a reward for anybody who finds her. She is mostly black with a white snout and grey wisps all over, white toes a white-tipped tail. IF you know anything, anything at all please call Jo-Anne Jukes (poppy’s owner) on 07949086779. If you think you have sighted this dog, please inform someone about the location. Also if you happen to find her, take her to somewhere safe and inform someone ASAP.

People are advised to shout her around the village she disappeared from to see if she has gone and hidden anywhere, check outhouses, sheds and other small hiding spots. Poppy has a phone number and address on her green collar which has a silver metal bone ID disc. Please just help BRING HOME POPPY! I have spoken to her owner and of course her and the family are distraught, do what you can, share or donate to the just giving page, every little thing you do counts.

If you see anything and can’t get in touch with the owner for any instance then please report it to any of these numbers that surround the Nottinghamshire area.

Telephone numbers and links:

Link to crowdfunding –BRINGHOMEPOPPY

 

 

 

I know this post is a little different to my usual. I just really want this little angel to be reunited with her family. I couldn’t imagine the pain the family are currently going through. All you have to do is share and retweet, it is done in seconds and is free! Posts will be back to normal before new year. Take care guys – Beth x

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How to Care for Your Mental Health This Christmas

Christmas time is full of emotion, excitement and joy especially. But for some of us, it can be a time where the season is full of depression and anxiety. I wanted to talk to you guys about ways you can care for your mental health when it’s hard at Christmas time. So grab yourself a cuppa (decaf for me) and let’s talk.

Talk to someone

Talk to friends or family. Anyone who will listen, talk to them. They don’t always have to be a mental health professional, sometimes it can just help to get your feelings out there. If you’re UK based (which most of my readers are) feel free to call The Samaritans on 116 123, they are a charity that talks to anyone who is in need of some support. You don’t have to be suicidal for this either. If you would rather be face to face with someone, The Samaritans do have drop-in branches which I will link in case you want to pop in instead.

Pamper yourself

Treat yourself to a cake you’ve been craving or that new DVD you wanted! Run a nice, hot bath and relax. Do a skincare routine, put on a face mask, do your brows. Feel good about yourself and take pleasure in caring for yourself.

Help others

Volunteer at an animal shelter or feed the homeless. Being social and interacting with others can sometimes ease your thought and make you feel good/positive about life. It’s nice to be nice.

Don’t go into debt worrying about Christmas

Money is a huge factor that increases anxiety and depression, don’t go into debt trying to please people. If you do have to buy gifts, maybe try to handcraft them as that could also serve as a distraction and hobby. This year I became anxious about what I had bought for family, so I ended up making loads of gifts through painting and other crafts I am good at.

Organize

One thing that has helped me this season is by having some organization. Putting everything in my phone calendar helped me see every meeting or social gathering I had to attend so I knew where I was.

Remember to breathe

I don’t mean just inhale and exhale, I also mean to stop and chill. Busy day shopping and wrapping presents? Go home, put a film on and relax. We can easily feel overwhelmed and making sure you take time to stop is essential to not going over the edge. One thing I also like to do when I feel a little ‘burnt out’ is either play The Sims or sit in my pyjamas all day and binge Youtube.

Numbers to call (UK)

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Bi-Polar UK – Tel: 0333 323 3880 – bipolaruk.org.uk

Saneline – 0300 304 7000 – sane.org.uk

Mind – MindInfoline: 0300 123 3393 – mind.org.uk

ChildLine – Helpline: 0800 11 11 – childline.org.uk

Samaritans – Tel: 116 123 (Free) – samaritans.org

Take care this Christmas, I haven’t posted much for December as I have been taking time out for my own mental health but if you need anyone to speak to this festive season please call the numbers I included in the post. Merry Christmas – Beth x

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Kaima Cosmetics Review

As I was scrolling through Instagram late the other night, I came across a photo of some beautiful loose pigments from an indie brand I had never heard of called Kaima Cosmetics. Instantly, I fell in love, I knew I had to treat myself and try them out. Because it was my first time trying anything from the brand I only bought two items which were two diamond duo chrome loose pigments;

Genie – shifts between blue and green

UtopiaShifts between lilac and gold

After trying the first batch I went in for round two where I bought two more pigments;

Divinelight blue

Dream catcher – shifts between green and pink

 

When applying the pigment the payoff is amazing and it doesn’t have much fallout. I find that it also sits really nicely on the eye without any primer.

I did this look using Utopia! Such a beautiful shade that leaves a major impact. I would recommend purchasing these and trying them out, my collection of the loose pigments are starting to grow!

Everything I have said in this review is my genuine opinion, nobody has paid me to say good things about the brand and everything was bought with my own money. Check out my Instagram to see more looks I have done using these products. Take care – Beth x

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Valentines Day 2019 – What’s​ the Best Thing About Being Single?

Valentine’s day, the one day of the year where everyone seems to be a lot more loved up than normal. The past fortnight every shopping website I have visited has hearts and lovey-dovey things plastered all over it. It seems to be that it’s a day just made for those people that have someone to share it with, so what are us singletons supposed to do? Well, let’s celebrate the best things about being single. Also note that I am not trying to say that relationships are bad, in this post I’m strictly trying to embrace single life.

I don’t need to panic about my appearance 

There’s not much need for me to be precise about upkeeping a squeaky clean appearance, by that I don’t mean let myself go and be disgusting. I just mean I don’t need to have my makeup on all the time, don’t need to shave my legs and I can wear the most granny like underwear you’ve ever seen.

No unnecessary arguments

I have an issue with arguing all the time with people I care about, especially when my emotions come into play.

Jealousy, who’s she?

I feel like being single means that I don’t have to worry about being cheated on or hurt. Even though every guy I have ever liked has still caused a lot of pain/damage to my feelings. But not having a boyfriend means I don’t have to worry that there’s someone else out there that’s better for him than I am.

No food sharing

I am a major foodie that will NOT share food, it’s good that I have no one to share it with right? I just can’t bear to share food with others, pizza is too good to be shared.

Bed to myself

I love nothing more than my bed, I wriggle around a lot in my sleep too so it’s good that I’m not gonna be rolling onto someone anytime soon.

Do what you want when you want

You can do whatever makes you happy, you don’t need to rely on a partner to go everywhere with you. You don’t have to miss out on things you love doing because they might find it boring.

You only buy for yourself

You can spend £15 in Mcdonalds for yourself, you don’t have to add on the extra £10 to pay for someone else. It’s a win-win, more money for me to buy makeup.

 

Thank you to the bloggers who told me their best things about being single!

I’m seeing in yet another valentines day being single, somewhat enjoying it too. Hope you enjoyed this post, it’s slightly random but it came to me at 3am the other night! Also, I’m nearly at 1k over on twitter and 500 over on Instagram so if you would be so kind and click my links below, I DO follow back! Take care – Beth x

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(image is from rawpixel.com)

2019 Goals – Blogmas Day 23

2018 is almost at an end, I’ve already reflected and recapped this year in my last post so it’s time to set some goals for the year ahead. I won’t list anything that’s insanely unattainable! Enjoy.

 

Monetisation

I would love to be able to start earning some form of income from blogging, in the future, I would love blogging to become my proper job as I’m sick of pulling pints for a crap wage.

Events

Being invited to events would be incredible! Like to lush to make a bath bomb or to a makeup event! Would be absolutely amazing and I would love to experience it.

Get in shape/self-development

My main goal is to lose weight, build muscle and become healthier. I want to like what I see in the mirror more than I currently do. Also, sounds cliche but I will strive to self develop more and work harder on my mental health.

Attempt to travel

I don’t fly so I would like to aim to do more UK city breaks or Europe ones via the Eurostar.

Work with brands

It would be a dream and an honour to get the chance to work with brands that I love! A dream would be to work with a makeup brand or a brand that I follow heavily such as Deathwishco and Bomb cosmetics.

Be content

I just wish to be very content with life. Content with finances, myself and relationships

Collab

I’d love to collab with more bloggers! Let me know if you’d love to do this!

Day 23 done! I am not in the spirit just yet and I don’t really know why, hopefully, tomorrow it’ll sink in. But after this post please tell me your goals for 2019 below! Take care – Beth x

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Let’s Talk: Relationships

This is a different type of post for me but I want to break into more content where I can start a conversation with all of you. Keep in mind that these opinions are from my own personal experience and I hope this can maybe help some of you in this current situation or for future reference. Let’s get started.

Today I’ll be talking about romantic relationships. Relationships can be beautiful or painful things that are shared, they’re like rollercoasters, full of ups and downs.

Dating in this day and age is extremely difficult, peoples views on how relationships should be have changed massively. It’s a shock to me to see that people now brag if you’re loyal to your partner, shouldn’t that just come with a relationship anyway?

We also still live in a quite vain society too, with each person having an ideology of what their perfect partner HAS to look like. However, there is more acceptance nowadays but at the same time, people still discriminate on looks. For me, there have been times where I’ve been told my hair colour was the reason I was unattractive (because I wasn’t blonde) and that I wasn’t thin enough. Which again, we all have personal preferences but it damages your self-esteem when people list the things they don’t like about you. Although being told those things hurt me, I’d rather have someone that loves me for me instead of a superficial person so it makes the rejection a lot easier to spring back from.

I have delved into Tinder in the past to actively search for someone and after a day deleted the app, it was horrendous! The number of weird messages I received just made me lose hope in humanity. That’s not me saying there’s something wrong with online dating because you can find that because you speak to them in non-person for a while they have more time to get to know the real you, instead of just the looks you have. I don’t actively search for someone anymore, I prefer to develop love with people I know or have been friends with as they already know and like me for me.

In personal preference, I won’t lie looks are a bonus but I fall in love with a personality. You could be the most beautiful person on the outside and be very ugly on the inside, the same method can be reversed and applied. That isn’t me saying all beautiful people are ugly inside either, just to shut that down now.

At 20 years old I can take my experience so far and put it into practice for the future. The key things to remember are to know your worth, admit when you mess up, be honest, love yourself and communicate. I also strongly think that if you don’t love yourself, you can’t fully love someone else as those issues can contrast and interfere with certain aspects of your relationship. I’ve also learnt that on the journey to finding your ‘perfect’ partner, you’ll meet some horrible people. I know I have before, but each experience makes you tougher and able to face more difficult things in the future. The way I dealt with nasty love interests that treat me poorly was just to walk away, it’s so tough but it get’s easier.

People will hurt you, people will use you and cause a lot of pain. It happens all the time but the one thing to remember no matter how hard it is, not everyone will hurt you. The last point I’ll leave you with is to not force or rush finding someone, you can find love in the most unimaginable and unlikely places. In the past I’ve found love in the people I’d least expect to. Be safe, best of luck and take care – Beth x

Please comment or tweet me @bethhh_okxy and let me know what you thought to this post, did you relate to what I said? Let me know.

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Birchbox Review – July Edition

After receiving my June Birchbox I uploaded a review onto my blog and said maybe I’d consider repurchasing, so when I was sat at home the other day I received a package from the lovely courier lady and of course, it was the Birchbox I forgot to cancel! Silly me. I did end up repurchasing, “technically” anyway. So let’s go ahead and review July’s edition of Birchbox.

Once again I paid £10 for the box and then £2.95 P&P which brought this months total to £12.95.

I cannot really talk about how delivery time was and whether it was good or bad as I had totally forgotten I had carried on with my subscription but all I know is I received it last Saturday which would’ve been the 7th of July. On their website, it states that they ship boxes in the first week of the month so from that I’m guessing my delivery time wasn’t too long.

The packaging looks aesthetically pleasing with pastel watercolours and the logo is covered with a beautiful rose gold. My first complaint has to be about how light the box feels, the cardboard feels very cheap and non-durable. Unlike the Glossybox that feels weighty and sturdy. Inside the box, the products are left to roll around the cardboard, they are not supported by any bubble wrap or cushioning. There was also a booklet with product information inside.

Products I received – July Edition

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Manna Kadar Long Wear Powder, RRP £15

Eyeko Fat Eye Stick, RRP £12

What’s in it for me..? Shower Scrub, RRP £7

Klorane Makeup Remover, RRP £16

Balance Me Congested Skin Serum, RRP £16

Total for this box = £66

Pros – Sorry to disappoint but the only pro about this box is that I maybe would use one product which is the shower scrub.

Cons –  I’d be using 1/5 of the products, I feel somewhat angry for wasting my money on this.

Would I repurchase? – Well, I let’s just start off by saying I have had 2 boxes now and I have given it a chance but honestly I would not recommend this subscription box. I’m kind of angry because I feel like I’ve just thrown my money at something pointless. I have since then cancelled my subscription box and would just advise against this purchase. But it is totally up to you.

UPDATE: So I reached out to Birchbox customer service to explain how poor these boxes have been lately, after 4 days of waiting for a response they finally responded saying they’d be happy to refund me if I sent back all boxes unused. I replied back to them stating that they send products smaller than sample size for you to try out so of course they’ll be used. It’s been 3 days since and I’ve had no reply. Don’t waste your money guys, seriously! The customer service kinda sucks too as well as the box service.

I hope this review has helped you make a decision whether you would like to purchase this subscription box or not. Check out my other reviews for June Birchbox and June Glossybox.

If you haven’t feel free to check out my social media, I do follow back as many people as I can.

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Glossybox Review – June Edition

After my last subscription box review, I decided I wanted to give others on the market a try. I came across Glossybox through a google search and just decided to give it a go.

I clicked on the option for a 1-month subscription plan which basically means pay-as-you-go for per box that you have. So each month it’s £10 + £3.25 P&P. Which brings this month total for my Glossy box to £13.25, not a bad price to say Birchbox is £12.95 (inc P&P).

Delivery for the box was fairly quickly, I ordered it on the 29th of June and received the box on the 4th of July. Which meant I only waited 5 days for delivery but as we miss the post on a Sunday it was only 4 days in total. My Birchbox took a whole week to arrive so Glossybox already did better with their delivery compared to the other company.

The packaging was pretty simple but sleek and chic. The box feels weighty and the cardboard feels quite durable. Inside the products are laid out on black shredded paper along with a card showing you the contents and the theme, the theme for this Glossybox was French Riviera must-have products.

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Products I received – June Box

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Monu Skin Eye Cool Gel,  RRP £24.95

Nip + Fab Glycolic Scrub Fix, RRP £9.95

Noven Mystic black Deep Hair Mask, RRP £11.95

Wilkinson Sword f.a.b Razor,  RRP £12

Laritzy Cosmetics Shade Stix, RRP £18

Total value = £76.85

Pros – One of the things I do like is that on the website they have a beauty profile for you to fill in so they can tailor their product choices to you and your skin/hair/complexion type. It feels a very personal touch which means then you won’t really receive products that you’ll just give away to someone as you wouldn’t use them. I’ll use the razor as someone who shaves regualrly this was a great product to send my way, the hair mask was a good choice for me also as it’s purpose is to help dry and frizzy hair which is exactly what I have.

Cons – The product choice in this box only included 3 products I would use which include the razor, the hair mask and the eye cool gel but that’s about it. The Laritzy Shade Stix they sent is way too dark for my pale complexion. It’s orange on me as it’s for deep skin tones, it’s also warmed toned which is a no and for contour, I only use cool toned products.

Would I repurchase – I have seen some of their previous boxes and they were much better than this June edition so I think I’m going to stay on the subscription and review the next box for you as it could potentially change my mind. As all subscription boxes are more or less a glorified “lucky dip” then you’ll, of course, have products in there that you’ll love and hate.  Again, I am free to cancel at any time but I want to see the July box so stay tuned for that oneas I’ll post a review.

Find Glossyboxhere

I hope you all enjoyed this post, I’ll have a review coming up on July’s Glossybox and July’s Birchbox. If you haven’t already, then please check out my last review here.

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